The Truth shall make you happy!

The Truth shall make you happy! Fraud is defined as "deceit, trickery, or breach of confidence, perpetrated for profit or to gain some unfair or dishonest advantage. Fraud is the opposite of truth... and the epitome of fraud in our society are lawyers. I can't think of another situation where winning is so much more important than truth and justice. In many instances, lawyers use "words of art" to perpetrate and perpetuate fraud.

Words of Art
The vocabulary or terminology of a particular art, science, or profession, particularly those expressions that are peculiar to it. Though a society may share a common language, there are many specialized uses of words based on human activities. Because the law is based on the expression of language, it contains thousands of words of art.

I am certainly not the first to express my disdain for those who twist words to change the meaning of the conversation. From Wikiquote, "Lawyers are a frequent target of criticism, in part because they are often the public face of unscrupulous parties such as persons being tried for crimes, because they employ a specialized jargon which makes it difficult for persons without a legal education to receive the benefits of the legal system without hiring a lawyer, and because they make up a disproportionate percentage of politicians."

Most of us know that most of our "representatives" in Congress are lawyers. Perhaps this is why Congress has an approval rating below 15%. What if we could exclude lawyers and attorneys from serving in the legislature? This idea has been around for just over 200 years. In Chapter 20 of Good to be King, I wrote about the original Thirteenth Amendment, also known as the Titles of Nobility Amendment. It reads:

If any citizen of the United States shall accept, claim, receive or retain any title of nobility or honour, or shall, without the consent of Congress, accept and retain any present, pension, office or emolument of any kind whatever, from any emperor, king, prince or foreign power, such person shall cease to be a citizen of the United States, and shall be incapable of holding any office of trust or profit under them, or either of them.

The quick and dirty explanation is that lawyers add Esq(uire) after their name, which is assumed to be a title of nobility. As such, the original Thirteenth Amendment would make them ineligible to be elected to office in the United States. There has been much debate whether or not this amendment was properly ratified, but it would clearly change the roster in Congress if it has. This is less of a daydream today than it was yesterday, because New Hampshire has just proposed a state law that would recognize the original Thirteenth Amendment as valid. I will do my best to keep you posted on this spark of Liberty.

Wow! This makes me really happy. But so do lawyer jokes. Here are some of the ones I'm able to print:

Q: Why did sharks eat everyone from the shipwreck except the lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
A: He gets taller.

man:    What are your counseling rates?
lawyer:   Five hundred dollars for three questions.
man:    Five hundred dollars! Isn't that awfully expensive?
lawyer:   Yes it is. What's your third question?

I'm sure you know several lawyer jokes yourself. Make me really happy. Add a comment with your best ones. I suspect that I won't be able to publish all of them, but I'd love to hear them anyway.

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Witty, funny, engaging, educational, articles by Michael Badnarik.